Sex As It Was Meant To Be, Part 2

How is it that we can have a prestigious job with great pay that supports our family and even allows the luxuries, but still be bored?

How is it that we can sit in a room surrounded by laughter and charming people and still feel uncomfortable?

How is it that we can slide into bed with the most beautiful girl and still feel less than satisfied when the passion has faded?

How many of us feel comfortable going to a restaurant by ourselves or to the movies alone? Maybe some of us will go, but isn’t the experience made better by company, and the better the company, the better the experience?

The explanation is simple. We are not just bodies and minds. We are spirit beings, and our spirits respond to situations differently than our minds and bodies do. 

We can be bored at a good job because it is not what we are supposed to be doing, what we were hard wired to be doing. We can put ourselves into physical situations that are pleasurable for a moment, but miss out on the deeper satisfaction of a meaningful lovemaking that doesn’t end with release. We can watch the same movie, or eat the same meal alone as with we can with others, but enjoy it more with those we have chosen to bring close.

Let us look at an example of this spiritual recognition and the benefit. For many of us, sex is a physical act. It feels good. It satisfies these urges and a certain hotness that boils in our blood. But sex is meant to be much more. 

At creation, Adam was formed from the dust of the earth (The reason I go here is simple. This is creation as God intended, before the fall marred the desires and processes of man.). He was simply a dust pile until God breathed into him the breath of life (Genesis 1). Now it was more than measurable life that was given. Notice God said, “make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” God created man as a spirit being, just like Himself, with dust as his covering. 

God saw man was alone and He said it was not good (note: it is not good to be alone. Why? Because we can feed ourselves on all the animals and plants of the world and have a great job tending the Garden of Eden like Adam had and still be missing something crucial.). So He took something(a rib) from Adam to make a woman. Let me suggest that it was not just a bone, but also the female qualities of the spirit that He took from Adam. One spirit divided into two. God’s next step was to give Adam the woman, a rejoining of sorts. 

Adam’s response? Immediate and overwhelming. “Bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” (Modern translation: “Wow! This woman is not only beautiful, she is the thing I have been missing my whole life.”) He looked at Eve and recognized the deeper connection, the very thing he lacked and desperately wanted. And God said let man be joined to his wife and become one flesh. Don’t miss this. The act of sex is physical, but it is also spiritual. A man and woman join physically in the act of sex, but there is also a rejoining of kindred spirits. So some people can have sex (just physical satisfaction and then they wake up and go home in the morning) and some people can have real sex. Sex that goes above and beyond. Sex that joins not only the body, but the spirit too.

Now this is not an encouragement or an endorsement to have sex with anybody or many somebodies, claiming you are having a spiritual experience or in an attempt to find your bone and flesh. Note that the finding and recognizing came before any joining (Shouldn’t the joining be complete and final and unique?). No, hopefully this comes as a revelation and affirmation that sex is part of a bigger plan meant for that individual that is bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. This is not an event that happens everyday (or on weekends when the beer and the shirt seem to be working magic).

Let’s go a bit further. The next statement is revealing and rewarding. “They were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” How many of us would feel comfortable around just anyone naked? Naked not only physically, but also revealing the depth of our personality. All those faults. All those failures. All those fears. Now we begin to see what marriage and sex was meant to be. With the right person, we can get to a point where we see everything and they can see everything and we are not ashamed. 

And one last thing to leave you with. What kind of sex are you going to have with someone that you feel is the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh? Especially when you are unashamed to be completely “naked” with them and they with you? What kind of relationship is it possible to have with them? What will life taste and sound and feel like as you hold their hand and walk forward?

I imagine it will be what God was thinking when he said, “It is not good that man should be alone.”

Reprinted with permission from the Opinion Guy 2008

© Seth Crossman

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