Like I’m pulling back these memories, I’m speaking this into myself and as a result, I’m living it out in my daily life and it put me in some weird places in the past two years.”. ", If you're wondering whether Higgins' now-fiancée Clarke has ever watched his season of The Bachelor, the answer is a definite no. Though she didn't name a specific reason for the split, she did say that their relationship "was a rocky road from the start." This show has been so good to me, and it's taught me so much about myself," he said. Bushnell, who is now married to country singer Chris Lane, 35, has also admitted it was "a rocky road from the start," telling PEOPLE after their split that "there just wasn't that joy that should be there and that was there at the beginning. However, it seems as though Higgins and Clarke have found a way to leave his reality TV relationship in the past and to begin a new future together, and I couldn't be happier for them. Connect with friends faster than ever with the new Facebook app. She later added, "Looking back, I wish I could be like, 'That's why it didn't work out.' Lauren Bushnell is opening up like never before about her breakup with The Bachelor's Ben Higgins.. "I do think Lauren and I very early on were just trying so hard to make it work that it was just pulling pieces of us all the time," he said. ", Ben Higgens/Instagram Jessica Clarke and Ben Higgins, Darling Juliet Photography Lauren Bushnell Lane and Chris Lane, "It's not healthy for me to see, it's not healthy for me to relive," he said. "It hurt deeply and I know I did." But watching it back now, it's just uncomfortable. ", Since then, Higgins has also moved on and proposed to his girlfriend Jessica Clarke in March; the two are planning to wed in the fall of 2021. Higgins had also famously told both women he loved them — a big no-no, and the first time it happened in the franchise's history. #Awkward. It's been over three years since Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell's May 2017 breakup, and the Bachelor alumni definitely seem to have moved on. It's not healthy for me to see, it's not healthy for me to relive. So when I wrote this, you know, it does go into my relationships from the show. ", "So, yes, it taught me a lot and it's been really good for me and really fun to celebrate that from the show re-airing," Higgins added. The Talk - The Top Skincare Ingredients Derms Recommend, The Talk - Jenny McCarthy Wahlberg Dishes on Possible Casting for 'The View' Mini Series, The Talk - Jenny McCarthy Wahlberg on Husband, Donnie's 'romantic' Virtual Vows Renewal. "And I would not even want to risk doing that again right now. The twosome split in May 2017 after more than a year together. In a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight, Higgins reflected on the breakup, acknowledging that the two had been struggling before calling it quits. We're gonna watch this [season] back because you know I chose you, and this is going to be fine.' Higgins’ upcoming book is divided into four sections: connection with self, connection to others, connection romantically and connection with God. Higgins previously told Us Weekly that he hadn’t spoken to Bushnell in recent months as ABC geared up to air a condensed version of season 20 as part of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons — Ever in June. "The ending, the proposal [is tough to watch]," he said. The Bachelor alum Ben Higgins has revealed his ex-fiancee Lauren Bushnell is a part of his memoir coming out early next year but she's signed off on the chapter or chapters in the book that are about her and their former relationship. ", "I think I've given my focus and my heart and my attention to one woman now, and I'm setting up boundaries in my life to keep that healthy and good. sms. "I don't think [I'd be] with my fiancée now if the show didn't happen, just because of random circumstances. ", "We were just looking for an out, but trying our best to make it last as long as we could to see if maybe we found the secret sauce," he said. While Bushnell didn't appear on Monday's episode of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons -- Ever!