Some Buddha Jumps Over the Wall soup might be just what you need Good thing I Googled that recipe. People do it instinctively in respect of someone who they have just met, someone they have read about, a person they have known for a long time or someone they have seen on television. I was required to participate in a certain number of twelve step groups. Firstly, we need to stop seeing narcissism and NPD as a black and white, either/or classification. People are afraid to break social norms because they associate, on a primal level, survival with group belonging. We have an instant classification of people which is very straight forward. Your ever-grateful reader and student. Obviously you can because you explained each person in great detail. I guess one is self-protective/deflected at the core…the other more open, willing, to be moved by a range of human emotions and experiences. I’m sure you’re very good with your son, NA. You cannot be light grey, mid-grey or dark grey. Examples might include: –, “He’s a dependable chap, always there when you need him.”, “Really annoys me, I don’t know what it is but he does.”. I am curious to see what will happen once she gets what she needs. Not one of them am I indifferent to. Splitting (also called black-and-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking) is the failure in a person's thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. You are viewed as wonderful, amazing, loyal and functioning – therefore we interact with you in a committed and dedicated manner (for instance the love bombing which occurs with regard to those we seduce intimately) so that we are able to extract the maximum amount of fuel and keep you bound to us through the application of benign behaviours. Narc Affair, I think the two conditions get confused in part because both are on a ‘spectrum,’ of sorts. Narcs have already done this, they aim to be successful at it – so they can always go further than you into existential doom They’re willing to sacrifice you because they have “nothing sacred” to sacrifice but their autonomy which relies on your sacrifice, that’s their bottom line – and not just that, they already sacrifice you by manipulating you into performing a mirror-function for them that helps them regulate their self-esteem, what compensates them for their inner self sacrifice, the source of their power. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Making others feel that way ( worthless, insignificant and unimportant) is their way of avoiding those feelings again? ( Log Out / My therapist tried prodding me into seeing him as simply human and as soon as I did, BAM!